"You know, I went to a Catholic school as a kid but no one did anything to me. Maybe I wasn't good-looking enough."

“My commitment to the forgotten families of Australia is to ease your cost-of-living pressure. Stopping wasteful and unnecessary spending will keep your interest rates down.”

“John Howard found a problem and created a solution. Kevin Rudd found a solution and has now created a problem”

“Unsurprisingly, the recipients of climate change subsidies and climate change research grants think action is very urgent indeed. As for the general public, of course saving the planet counts – until the bills come in and then the humbug detector is switched on.”

“What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up.”

“All of the boats in question were in the Indonesian search and rescue zone and I want the fullest possible cooperation between Indonesia and Australia in places where Indonesia has, if you like, the legal responsibility under the law of the sea, but Australia has more practical capacity to help.”

“It’s also time Australians stopped being apologetic about the values that have made our country as free, fair and prosperous as any on Earth.”