"Hi I'm Patrick. Today we're going to look at how long it takes for spilt Coke to sink into a carpet. Note that it's still fizzy."

“I'm not a drummer anymore, on my gravestone, if there is one, if anyone writes anything about me besides hopefully being a dad, it would be that I sang in my band when I was in my 20s. So I was like, "Yeah, I should probably focus on this a little more," so I just practiced a lot.”

“Yeah, I've been writing a bunch of new stuff, but it's all secret. In fact, I may or may not have been writing stuff this entire interview.”

“Don't just look at her ass, eat it.”

“Calm before the storm - fuck it; MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. MEOW.”

“I've heard a lot of really awful, negative things said about Pete, and it's like, “Dude, you don't even have a clue how honest and real that guy is” for the amount of crap that people talk about him. Pete said it, and it's true, they make you into a wrestling character. And it's also like reality TV editing. It's really easy to cut somebody in rolling their eyes when that might not have even happened next to the thing that it's being shown next to.”

“Reich and John Cage were pretty big influences on this record in weird ways in that you wouldn't necessarily hear any of it - nothing ends up sounding like either of them, but I think just methodology and things like that ended up on the record in various ways.”