"Your "use case" should be, there's a 22 year old college student living in the dorms. How will this software get him laid?"

“Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.”

“I dug in a bit but then the smell of gasoline and burning flesh drove me away.”

“There is a lot of money to be made in the business of secrets, of course.”

“combines all the worst aspects of C and Lisp: a billion different sublanguages in one monolithic executable. It combines the power of C with the readability of PostScript.”

“I'd just like to take this moment to point out that C has all the expressive power of two dixie cups and a string.”

“Using these toolkits is like trying to make a bookshelf out of mashed potatoes.”