"I always thought Detritus would be good at: "I bet you're wondrin' how many time I fired dis crossbow"

“My programming language was solder.”

“Mort isn't fashionable UK movie material -- there're no parts in it for Hugh or Emma, it's not set in Sheffield, and no one shoves drugs up their bum...”

“The sign outside the shop said Apothecary, which meant that the shop was owned by a sort of early chemist, who would give you herbs and things until you got better or at least stopped getting any worse.”

“Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged.”

“If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind.”

“Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.”