"Why can't it be a day where we take a moment and we stop and acknowledge the role that God has played in the formation of this country and its laws? What's so promotional about religion there?"

“By the way, for the kids at home, Santa just is white, but this person is arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we're just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids.”

“The-the-the criticism people have of your position, Reverend, is— you want God out of everything!”

“Barack Obama tends to poll better than he performs. The bottom line is, don't trust the polls. With all due respect to our pollsters, they might not tell us anything.”

“Hold on. I realize — can, just, just — I realize something's happening in Ferguson, but we're talking about something important here, so can you at least split-screen the video? I realize — look, the protesters and the police are clashing again, alright? They’re clashing again. But we're talking about the dead— the death of an American— of an American who was beheaded, and Pete deserves his say.”

“Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man too, but, you know, it's like — We have — He was a historical figure, that's a verifiable fact, as is Santa. I just want the kids at home to know that.”

“Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better. or is this real?”