"Nan, she died again, tragically. We decided to get her embalmed, we threw a bit of money at it. And the embalmer asked us if we had any photos of Nan that he could work from. But unfortunately, the only photo we had was of Nan on the log-flume at Alton Towers."

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“You know, he burned his first ever pair of shoes, because when he was a kid, the Earth was still hot. Thats how old he is!”

“He remembers when lizards were fish. Thats how old he is!”

“He went on Friends Reunited and Moses got back in touch with him. Thats how old he is!”

“You're probably like me, when your doorbell rings, your dog goes racing up to the door...but it's never for him, is it? "Who did you think it was going to be, one of your little friends?”

“You know, he cries every time he sees a fossil, because he remembers it when it was running around. Thats how old he is!”

“I've got a sister in Australia, so when I phone her up there is a slight delay on the line after I've spoken because she's a bit thick.”

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