Mark Twain vs. Bill Skarsgård

"Brief Biographical Sketch of George Washington", The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, and Other Sketches (1867), ed. John Paul"

"I have seen Chinamen abused and maltreated in all the mean, cowardly ways possible to the invention of a degraded nature, but I never saw a policeman interfe…"

"Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough."

"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run."

"Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience"

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."

"Ah, it was worth ten years of a man’s life to be dead then! Everything was pleasant. I was in a good neighbourhood, for all the dead people that lived near m…"

"I'll risk forty dollars that he can outjump any frog in Calaveras county."

"He was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie."

"He is now fast rising from affluence to poverty."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."

"No one doubts—certainly not I—that the mind exercises a powerful influence over the body. From the beginning of time, the sorcerer, the interpreter of dreams…"

"She had run down and down and down, and had at last reached a point where medicines no longer had any helpful effect upon her. I said I knew I could put her …"

"The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it."

": "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."

"The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal."

"Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech."

"None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favor at the same time. There are many asses."

"It [the press] has scoffed at religion till it has made scoffing popular. It has defended official criminals, on party pretexts, until it has created a Unite…"