Nicole Hollander

"I'm planning to live fast, die young, and make a good looking corpse. I think you're off schedule."

"Geez, I’m sorry about that landing. . . . Why don’t I just go up and try again?"

"So how come the tall, dark, handsome stranger I see in your future is a woman?"

"Women who form relationships with murderers . I don't get it. Well, you know where they are at nights. At least, they're not lying on your couch watching TV."

"Being a woman is as much a state of mind as a state of being. Right. You stop paying attention, you might turn into a tuna."

"The Supreme Court staggered the nation today when they ruled that conception begins the minute you think about sex."

"A really good haircut is as effective in changing one’s life as A) 3 months of psychotherapy. B) 6 months of psychotherapy."

"...it's a worse shock to lose one of your five homes than it is to lose your only home. I'm sure psychologists will back me up on this."