Jim C. Hines

"If a god ever decides to talk to you, the best thing you can do is pretend you don’t hear him."

"Goblins didn’t pray. They had no use for gods, a disinterest matched only by the gods’ disdain for goblins."

"Logically, Jig knew he was safe. Logic, however, had only a single small voice, and was easily overwhelmed by panic."

"Maybe this was why gods stayed on another plane of existence. If they stayed here in the mortal world, their followers would be too tempted to punch them in the face."

"The most difficult part was letting yourself ignore the lies your eyes told. Eyes were like children. If they had nothing to say, they made things up."

"He hoped he hadn’t killed the guard. He had come here to help the goblins. Though eliminating some of the stupider guards might be construed as helping. He would have to think about that later."

"Plans were for adventurers. He preferred the goblin approach. Blind panic might not work all the time, but at least it saved you the stress of planning."

"The royal children have skulls of granite, it’s true, but they come by that honestly."