D. L. Hughley

"Debbie Reynolds died a day after her daughter did! Black Mama's don't die cuz they kids do!They cry and say God don't make no mistakes!"

"I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it."

"I think politics in general are just like a popularity contest but McCain is just... old."

"You know what so funny, this strike has been going on for a long time. It's lasted longer than the Civil Rights movement, what the hell is this? It's painfully obvious to me white people don't know ho…"

"It's really no different for me 'cause I work for BET so it's like the writers are always on strike."

"They had this movie called Juno about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and it's nominated for an Oscar. That's an unusual experience for me, 'cause when a black girl gets pregnant it ain't no Oscar. I…"