"The honest answer to your question is that I think Anaheed and I could do this whole thing better, and that we're a terrible role model for anyone. We muddle our way through, for sure. And we've been together for 20 years—but it's hard on us. I feel like I know other people who manage it way, way better."

“Before Google Docs existed, those rare times I met software engineers, I’d ask them to please create software so two people in different locations could edit a document together online. God bless Google Docs.”

“I don't tweet because I don't need another creative venue. I don't need another form for self-expression. I don't need another way to get my thoughts out to people. I have one.”

“Why is my job like the second job that somebody who's a genius at something else can do, and actually still be really good at? It's not fair!”

“The Cruise is one of my favorite films and very close to the spirit of This American Life: It’s funny and moving and surprising and just beautiful to look at–black and white, shot on the cheap with all natural light on digital video, incredibly.”

“Nobody hearing my words right now is thinking, Oh man, remember that show, back when it used to be good?”

“Ira is a big fag. He's just not a homosexual.”