"I'm a Jewish Jane Austen."

“Although I was too young to understand the theory of universal guilt, I was old enough to know which sex suffered migraine and which sex caused it.”

“All those words of praise they use for novels – spare, economical. Why should I shell out £17 for economical?”

“He was as sentimental as Hitler about applause and crowds.”

“In the highly improbable event of his being asked to nominate the one most un-Jewish thing he could think of, Sefton Goldberg would have been hard pressed to decide between Nature – that's to say birds, trees, flowers, and country walks – and football – that's to say beer, bikies, mud, and physical pain.”

“In the matrimonial life of the Jewish male every day is Yom Kippur.”