"What is life? Life is like a big obstacle, put in front of your optical to slow you down, and every time you think you gotten past it, it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground. What are friends? Friends are people that you think are your friends, but they're really your enemies with secret identities and disguises to hide their true colors, so just when you're close enough to be brothers, they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking. What is money? Money is what makes a man act funny. Money is the root of all evil. Money'll make them same friends come back around swearing that they was always down. What is life? I'm tired of life!"

“How many retards'll listen to me and run up in the school shootin' when they're pissed at the teacher? "Her? Him? Is it you? Is it them?" "Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!”

“This is your moment, and every single minute you spend tryin' to hold on to it, cuz you may never get it again; so while you're in it try to get as much shit as you can and when your run is over just admit when it's at its end.”

“Yo! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already — Mom's spaghetti.”

“I just remembered that I'm absent minded... wait, I mean I lost my mind, I can't find it.”

“I make music to make you sick of fake music — hate music like devil worshippin' Satan music. So say your prayers — your Hail Mary's and Jesuses. Take two sticks, tape 'em together and make a crucifix.”

“Smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink. Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal!”