"How would you feel if you lived on an island populated, apart from yourself, exclusively by retarded, malicious chimpanzees? Well, that’s how I feel. Don’t laugh, because you’re one of those retarded, malicious chimpanzees."

“Thinking is a terrible disadvantage with which most people are not burdened. Being able to think merely makes you aware of the outrages around you.”

“Voting for politicians who tell you what you want to hear has all but destroyed civilization, giving in to outrage in the hope of avoiding trouble has all but destroyed freedom, and looking for the easy road to success in bodybuilding has all but destroyed the actually great potential value of weight training.”

“If you like an exercise, chances are you’re doing it wrong.”

“There must surely be a few bodybuilders who are not idiots. But if so, they are well camouflaged in some undiscovered cave.”

“We learn, when we learn, only from experience, and then we only learn from our mistakes. Our successes only serve to reinforce our superstitions.”

“Split routines make about as much sense as sleeping with one eye open. Best results will almost always occur from exercising both your upper body and your lower body in the same workout.”