"I mean, I did ride the Paris subway in an attempt to get pick-pocketed in order to see how exactly they did it. My buddy was videoing the whole thing. No one picked my pocket. We got bolder and bolder as we went, but it didn’t pan out for us."

“I think there is really good chance that Sarah Palin could be president and I think that is a scary thing, because I don't know anything about her. I don't think in eight weeks I'm going to know anything about her. I know she was a mayor of a really, really small town, and she is governor of Alaska for less than two years. I just don't understand. I think the pick was made for political purposes, but in terms of governance it is a disaster. You do the actuary tables, you know there is one out of three chance or more that McCain doesn't survive his first term, and it will be President Palin. It really … I was talking about it earlier, it is like a really bad Disney movie, you know. The hockey mom, I'm just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she is the president. She is like facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. You know it is absurd. It is totally absurd, and I don't understand why more people aren't talking about how absurd it is. It is a really terrifying possibility. The fact that we have gotten this far, and with that close this being a reality is crazy. I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That's an important. … I want to know that. I really do. Because she's going to have the nuclear codes, you know. I want to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago or whether she banned books or tried to ban books. I mean, we can't have that.”

“My thoughts on veganism are that it’s a wonderful thing to do. I just can’t do it. I tried. Casey Affleck and I made a movie in the desert in Argentina like 12 years ago and he’s a vegan and I tried to eat vegan and I lasted like two days. I just, I literally can’t do it. And I know…that might be bad.”

“It was offered to me. When Spielberg says jump, bitches say how high?”