"a seething, dyslexic, better-looking British Bukowski"

“Britain's greatest cultural asset”

“I like being on the margins. You work better there.”

“I am angry with him but I have compassion for him. The reason I can have a relationship with him is that I don’t see him as my father but as an individual. I’m glad I didn’t murder him that day. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had.”

“I loved moustaches. I used to draw myself with one. When I was 14, I was really into war and Van Gogh.”

“Before 1999, Tracey Emin and Sarah Lucas offered to get me exhibitions, but joining the Stuckists put a kaibosh on all that — because I wasn't prepared to be controlled. I agreed to co-found the Stuckists to be allowed to say what I wanted, and I left the Stuckists because I didn't really want to be in them in the first place.”

“Bowie and McCartney arrived, and the biscuits and caviare started and I left immediately. I don’t like shouting across rooms, with people in shiny suits who look like used-car salesmen.”