"The fat dancer from Take That"

“Another reason to vote Labour is if you ******g don't and the Conservatives get in, Phil Collins is threatening to come back and live here, and let's face it none of us want that.”

“We need each other / We believe in one another / And I know we're gonna uncover / What's sleeping in our souls”

“Would you maybe / Come dancing with me / 'Cos to me it doesn't matter if your hopes and dreams are shattered”

“Kylie Minogue is just a demonic little idiot as far as I'm concerned. She gets cool dance producers to work with her for some bizarre reason, I don't know why. She doesn't even have a good name. It's a stupid name, Kylie, I just don't get it”

“We're not arrogant, we just believe we're the best band in the world.”

“I know I've got Irish blood because I wake up every day with a hangover.”