"The great driving force of the oligarchs is the belief that they are doing right."

“Life? Bah! It has no value. Of cheap things it is the cheapest.”

“Men do not knowingly drink for the effect alcohol produces on the body. What they drink for is the brain-effect; and if it must come through the body, so much the worse for the body.”

“Fiction pays best of all and when it is of fair quality is more easily sold. A good joke will sell quicker than a good poem, and, measured in sweat and blood, will bring better remuneration. Avoid the unhappy ending, the harsh, the brutal, the tragic, the horrible - if you care to see in print things you write. Humour is the hardest to write, easiest to sell, and best rewarded... Don't write too much. Concentrate your sweat on one story, rather than dissipate it over a dozen. Don't loaf and invite inspiration; light out after it with a club, and if you don't get it you will nonetheless get something that looks remarkably like it.”

“I am. I was. I am not. I never am.”

“I only remember one part of the service," he said, "and that is 'And the body shall be cast into the sea'. So cast it in.”

“He was not immoral, but merely unmoral.”