"My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin' accommodatin' character."

“I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.”

“Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrer money to do it with.”

“Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?”

“The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.”

“The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.”

“The fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.”