"Cannon, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries."

“Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.”

“Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

“Conservative, n. A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.”

“Resign, v. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.”

“An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.”

“Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.”