"There isn't much I find interesting to write about in middle-class life."

“I used to look at older people who bothered to still attend nightclubs and couldn’t help but wonder why. Didn’t they realize how foolish they looked? Of course, now that I’m one of those people myself, I have decided that such rules don’t apply to me.”

“Pornography takes all the reality out of sex and Disney does that to family life.”

“Whilst something is unknown, it could be anything. It could be the worst thing ever and usually when something starts to happen. You realise it’s not so bad.”

“Tabloids invoke freedom of speech, but they're not interested in that, they're just interested in who's shagging whom, who's got drunk. And if you take that pretend, faux moral standpoint, you end up with people in public life being completely boring. Like they've had their genitals removed.”

“Everybody's a bit screwed up, you know. You can take it as symptoms of a disorder, or you can take it as personality. Me, I'd rather think it as parts of personality.”