"Buck 60 on the dash, Imma to do two. Captain Crunch these niggas is Froot Loop. That's why your girl wanna fuck me and my group too. And Imma make her back it up like shoop shoop. I'm the Birdman Junior I gotta do Coups. I hop out that mother fucker hollering 'Soo Woo!'"

"You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s. He’s more particular.... The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat."

"Madison Avenue is afraid of the dark."

"It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players wit…"

"Men for whom divorce means walking out of their children’s lives except when they choose to see the children are the male equivalent of the adolescent feminists: men who want options without obligatio…"