"So I'm hanging out with all my buddies and um... I realized something. Think of the group of people you've known the longest in your life. Think of the group of friends that you've hung out with the most. Maybe you are all here tonight. And this is what I've realized. I had an epiphany and here it is right here. There's one person in every group of friends that nobody fucking likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts. When that person is not around your little base camp, your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Karen is always a douchebag. Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche. And when she's not around you just look at each other go: "God Karen, she's such a douchebag. Until she walks up and then you're like: "Hey what's up Karen? Kaaaaren, what's up Karen?" There's always that one person and I'm looking out and some of you guys are like: "Hmmm, I disagree." Well you're the person...you're the person nobody likes."

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