"Not a word of my writing has ever been changed by another person's hands, and I don't think many screenwriters can say that."

“I'm the one who started spreading that particular factoid, about Bendis, Azz and me all being bald Brian's from Cleveland, just to get my name mentioned in the same sentence as two much-better writers, and it's worked like a goddamn charm. Next up, I'm going to grow a big, disgusting beard, just so people will start talking about Alan Moore and me in the same breath.”

“Comics are essentially films with fewer frames per second.”

“Writer's block" is just another word for video games. If you want to be a writer, get writing, you lazy bastards.”

“But Cruise is really good!”

“The man is a complete wackadoo, but so is every great actor who ever lived. You gotta separate the artist from his/her art, or you won't be able to enjoy anything.”

“I think it was born out of that grade school fantasy that a lot of nerds like me had, which was "I could probably get the cute red-headed girl that sits across from me, if only every other boy in the entire school dies.”