"So I'm speaking in all caps tonight. I know that's offensive to liberals; they like to speak in lower case with proper pronunciation in their voices. I don't. I speak in all caps. You can mark that one down: MICHAEL SAVAGE SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS!!!"

“When you follow the straight and narrow, I tell you truth, it's the greatest high there is... When you have a mind that takes you in a thousand directions every minute. Where do you think Shakespeare got all of his characters from? ... Sanity – is to bridle all those horses and hitch them to one wagon, and then you lead those horses; you don't let them pull you in every direction. And that's why you shouldn't use marijuana... Marijuana was the most destructive element in my life... Marijuana is the most dangerous of all drugs. Having said that, maybe there are some medical conditions where one of the active principles... marinol or others, could be used to alleviate pain – good, get the medication... And the reason society is pushing you into getting high is to make certain that you don't know what the politicians are doing to you... The way the Chinese were doped on opium, you're being doped on marijuana. Marijuana may be a sedative for people who have been blessed with, or shall I say cursed with? – a one-string mind... "Oh wow, look at that – now I can play with two strings." But for people who've been given a violin for a brain, marijuana screws up your ability to play anything.”

“It's a shell game... They "give" you "free" health-care, then enslave you with a tax burden so heavy you go into cardiac arrest from the load.”

“Most people would never connect abortion to radical Islam, but you're smarter than most people. Don't just take my words for it. Look at the numbers. There are 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. America has, at last count, 320 million people: with so many illegals it is tough to get an accurate count. There are roughly four times as many Muslims as Americans. They keep adding to their ranks, and we keep importing illegals because our own people eliminate their babies. At this rate we will go the way of Europastan.”

“Life is stressful. The greatest stress is trying to avoid stress; you can't avoid it.”

“Pope's coming to Washington, New York and Philly to shoot his mouth off about stuff he knows nothing about. He's got one reform after another. Everything liberal he's for. I don't know what they have a church for. Isn't the object of a church to tell you you're no good and you're not doing the right thing? What do you need a church for if telling you everything you do is OK? Everything is OK to this guy! Nothing's – marijuana, whatever you want – abortion, divorce, it's all good. It's all good.”

“The search to find God is the finding itself.”