"It’s like a soap opera. It’s certainly an identity crisis. Gordon wants to be like Maggie, but he doesn’t want to be like Tony. Tony also wanted to be like Maggie, but Maggie only wanted to be like Ronnie. Now Dave, he wants to be like Tony, but he doesn’t want to be like William, or Iain, or Michael, and certainly not like Maggie either. Confused? You must be, but you can be clear on this: I don’t want to be like any of them."

“We can all agree–it has already been a measure of the debate–that Saddam Hussein is an evil tyrant with no regard for the sanctity of human life, for either his own citizens or the people of other countries. We all agree that he is in flagrant breach of a series of UN resolutions, and in particular those relating to his duty to allow the inspection, and indeed participate in the destruction, of his weapons of mass destruction. We can also agree that he most certainly has chemical and biological weapons and is working towards a nuclear capability. The dossier contains confirmation of information that we either knew or most certainly should have been willing to assume.”

“I have done my best to fulfil my responsibility to him and to the party in circumstances which were difficult for everyone … It has been an enormously difficult time and there have been huge conflicts of loyalty. We have to accept the sincerity of intention of people in what it was they tried to do.”

“Under my leadership the Liberal Democrats would not be making polite interjections from the sidelines, we would be hammering on the doors of power.”

“I think he was shafted by a complete shower of shits.”

“It has become clear that following the prime minister's decision not to hold an election, questions about leadership are getting in the way of further progress by the party. Accordingly I now submit my resignation as leader with immediate effect.”

“It can fairly be said of John Smith that he had all the virtues of a Scottish presbyterian, but none of the vices.”