Daniel Handler

"The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up."

"Love was in the air so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner."

"I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms."

"Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life."

"What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that."

"As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to …"

"I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was."

"This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part …"