Dave Barry

"There was a time when the human race did not have technology. This time was called "the 1950s." I was a child then, and it was horrible. There were only three TV channels, and at any given moment at l…"

"The main reason why Deeber's car ignition had never been wired to a bomb is that reporters have poor do-it-yourself skills."

"When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: …"

"Here's the problem: A lot of parents are insane. You may be one of these parents without knowing it, because the craziness takes over you gradually."

"A few years ago I got into a heated argument with the 18-year-old son of a friend of mine. Actually, it wasn't so much an argument as it was me getting angry at him for something he said. What he said…"

"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."

"The best way to learn Japanese is to be born as a Japanese baby, in Japan, raised by a Japanese family."

"In consumer news, the American automotive industry, continuing its tradition of meeting basic consumer needs, came up with two major technological advances in 1959: 1. The Edsel. 2. Even bigger tailfi…"