Dave Barry

"There was a time when the human race did not have technology. This time was called "the 1950s." I was a child then, and it was horrible. There were only three TV channels, and at any given moment at l…"

"1957- There was big trouble this year for the Boomers. There we were, innocently enjoying our childhoods, when, without warning, the Russians launched the first man-made, Earth-orbiting godless satell…"

"The main reason why Deeber's car ignition had never been wired to a bomb is that reporters have poor do-it-yourself skills."

"When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: …"

"In sports, the U.S. Open is not actually held because it's more efficient just to mail the check to Tiger Woods."

"Thus was born the civil rights movement, an epic struggle that has required much sacrifice and pain, but which has enabled the United States to progress, in just three decades, from being a nation whe…"

"Here's the problem: A lot of parents are insane. You may be one of these parents without knowing it, because the craziness takes over you gradually."

"A few years ago I got into a heated argument with the 18-year-old son of a friend of mine. Actually, it wasn't so much an argument as it was me getting angry at him for something he said. What he said…"