Stormont Mancroft

"Before the War you took your secretary to Paris and called her your wife. Now, in order to wriggle through the tax-gatherer's net, you take your wife to Paris and call her your secretary."

"Cricket is a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of Eternity."

"The only exercise I ever take is walking up hospital stairs to visit friends who've damaged themselves by taking exercise."

"My first car was painted red down one side and blue down the other to confuse witnesses in case of an accident."

"Nobody ever seemed quite clear whether the expression "drunk as a lord" should be taken as a compliment or an insult."