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Quotes & Thinkers in Humorist

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🇺🇸Mark Twain

Literature

1835–1910

"There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practised in the tricks and delusions of oratory."

327 quotes

🇺🇸James Branch Cabell

Literature

1879–1958

"Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice online at University of Virginia"

"I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew."

"It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch each other, and find sympathy. It is in our follies that we are one."

"My Nuts are just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqutron ."

78 quotes

🇺🇸Addison Mizner

Art

Spanish Colonial Revival architecture

1872–1933

"Two ideas in his head at once would constitute an unlawful assembly."

13 quotes

🇺🇸Thomas Lansing Masson

Journalism

1866–1934

"Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional record."

8 quotes

🇬🇧Edmund Clerihew Bentley

Literature

1875–1956

"A web page about Bentley, with some clerihews and some biographical information on Bentley himself"

"It isn't so much the heat... as the humidity."

"Information's pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience."

"Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddam."

"A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor."

"It's a good thing to turn your mind upside down now and then, like an hour-glass, to let the particles run the other way."

"Edward Lear Home Page at NonsenseLit.org"

"Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count."

"Speech by Keillor at Concordia University"

"Text of 'In the Workhouse - Christmas Day'."

"Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met."

"There's one thing about baldness; it's neat."

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else*"

"Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr."

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you."

"With the thermometer at 30 below zero and the wind behind him, a man walking on Main Street in Winnipeg knows which side of him is which."

"The music teacher came twice a week to bridge the awful gap between Dorothy and Chopin."

10 quotes

Alexander Knox (1757–1831)

Literature

1818–1891

"Peter B. Nockles, ‘Knox, Alexander ’, Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, Oxford University Press, September 2004; online edn, October 2005, accessed 1 June 2007"

"I'm here to change the world, and if I am not, I am probably wasting my time."

"Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine. I think of it as my own personal bride's disease."

"There are two kinds of characters in all fiction, the born and the synthetic. If the writer has to ask himself questions – is he tall, is he short? – he had better quit."

22 quotes