"...now keep your fuckin' mouth shut or I'll show you what it's like!"

"“After his return the King proceeded to reduce the fortress of Dewurconda, strongly situated on the top of a hill, which after a long siege was taken, and the Hindoo palaces and temples, by the King’s…"

"Scaring the children: for Halloween last night, I dressed as a Democrat and when kids came to my door, I took half of their candy!"

"You ought never to speak to your children in a passion; for if you do, you will put devils into them."

"Everyone is trying to reach for their own stars, and all of those stars aren’t light-years away. They are as close as our job, our family, our children, our next-door neighbors and our good friends."