"I regret that you have but one pie to give for my tummy."

“Oh-ho-ho-man! I could sit here and smell this pole all day, I kid you not!”

“Do I live here? ...if not, would you still feed me?”

“A bad writer is just a good writer with writer's block.”

“I tell ya, man, your cat is officially out of control. He really gives new meaning to the term tempest in a teapot.”

“I call this "Ode to a Pigeon": Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?!”

“I think... therefore I am annoyed.”