"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."

“If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?'”

“Humor gives presidents the chance to be seen as warm, relaxed persons. Humor reaches out and puts its arm around the listener and says, 'I am one of you, I understand,' and implicitly it promises, 'I will do something about your problems.'”

“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.”

“The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.”

“George Bush has turned into the playboy of the Western world. He shows up at Chinese restaurants, at movies, at the Kennedy Center. He seems to be a totally relaxed, enjoy-the-moment kind of individual. He has shown a sense of playfulness that is very appealing. It shows he isn't overwhelmed by the overwhelming responsibilities he is taking on.”

“Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.”