"Labor, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property of B."

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“Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.”

“Conservative, n. A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.”

“Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

“Cannon, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.”

“Resign, v. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.”

“An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.”

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"I am not thinking of those shining precepts which are the registered property of every school; that is to say — learn as much by writing as by reading; be not content with the best book; seek sideligh…"

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"It is highly doubtful if the Mughal period deserves the credit it has been given as a period of religious tolerance. Akbar is now known only for his policy of sulh-i-kul, at least among the learned Hi…"

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