"Carlson: Well, actually, he's not in prison for that. He didn’t -- Warren Jeffs didn't marry underaged girls, actually."

“Most of the time you can beat a woman in an argument. But what do you win? Nothing. You get short-term pleasure followed by a lot of pain.”

“Carlson: Well she does. I mean, I heard -- I mean, now I'm a Brent fan, so, I'm just stating my bias right out front here. I heard her on with him and I just wanted to give her the spanking she so desperately needs.”

“Carlson: I still can't get over, you know, Obama saying, “They're going to attack me because I'm Black.” I mean, that's just ridiculous. I mean, that is so low to say something like that.”

“These are the people who write our movies and our sitcoms, They are not shocked by naughty words. They just pretend to be when it’s useful. It’s been very useful lately.”

“he idea that if you buy some creepy video game for your grandson knowing it‘s a creepy video game, it turns out to be even creepier than you thought, then you‘re owed thousands by the people who made it? Ah, no!”

“Carlson: I feel like a more risky choice, needless to say, but don't think Rom -- you get anything out of Romney, I really don't.”