"I think you are absolutely right about everything, except I think humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell."

“Tragabigzanda was a rather large girl. Later on, Captain Smith named a portion of Massachusetts after her.”

“They all won lasting renown by constantly accusing one another of peculation and fraud and calling names at election time.”

“Other kings let their ministers make their mistakes for them, but Louis insisted on making the important mistakes personally.”

“Other foolish birds include the Semipalmated Plover, the Marbled Godwit, the Carolina Mosshead, the Tasmanian Googlenose and the Fool Hen or Franklin Grouse of the Rockies.”

“Although this structure failed as a tomb, it is one of the wonders of the world even today because it is the largest thing ever built for the wrong reason.”

“He subdued the Greeks after they had knocked themselves out in the Peloponnesian War and appointed himself Captain General so that he could uphold the ideals of Hellas. The main ideal of Hellas was to get rid of Philip, but he didn't count that one.”