"Charlemagne lived away back in the Dark Ages when people were not very bright. They have been getting brighter and brighter ever since, until finally they are like they are now."

“They all won lasting renown by constantly accusing one another of peculation and fraud and calling names at election time.”

“Tragabigzanda was a rather large girl. Later on, Captain Smith named a portion of Massachusetts after her.”

“Other kings let their ministers make their mistakes for them, but Louis insisted on making the important mistakes personally.”

“Other foolish birds include the Semipalmated Plover, the Marbled Godwit, the Carolina Mosshead, the Tasmanian Googlenose and the Fool Hen or Franklin Grouse of the Rockies.”

“I think you are absolutely right about everything, except I think humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.”

“Although this structure failed as a tomb, it is one of the wonders of the world even today because it is the largest thing ever built for the wrong reason.”