"Please bear in mind throughout that IT IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY."

“He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.”

“So the two of them went to London by the early morning train. 'Let's surprise her,' said Nigel, but Cedric telephoned first, wryly remembering the story of the pedantic adulterer - 'My dear, it is I who am surprised; you are astounded.'”

“I'm one of the blind alleys off the main road of procreation.”

“It's the seed of life we carry about with us like our skeletons, each one of us unconsciously pregnant with desirable villa residences. There's no escape. As individuals we simply do not exist. We are just potential home builders, beavers, and ants. How do we come into being? What is birth?”

“News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read. And it's only news until he's read it. After that it's dead.”

“Don't hold your parents up to contempt. After all, you are their son, and it is just possible that you may take after them.”