"Teddy McCarthy to Mick McCarthy, no relation, Mick McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation."

“Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery.”

“Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar. I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal... the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox, to the 21, fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide... and the dog lost as well.”

“Anthony Lynch, the Cork corner-back, will be the last person to let you down - his people are undertakers.”

“...and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell ye a little story. I was in Times Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I said, "I suppose ye wouldn't have The Kerryman would ye?" To which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said, "Do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?" He had both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet...”

“1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in any man's language.”

“Seán Óg Ó hAilpín.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold.”