Quentin Crisp

"The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another."

"Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave."

"I started to shed the monstrous aesthetic affectation of my youth so as to make room for the monstrous philistine postures of middle age, but it was some years before I was bold enough to decline an i…"

"I acquiesced in this on the grounds that the most anyone can expect from a holiday is a change of agony."

"The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this problem by defying their elders and copying each other."

"Sometimes I wore a fringe so deep it obscured the way ahead. This hardly mattered. There were always others to look where I was going."

"All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops."

"You'll never be wanted," said, and thrust at me a smaller piece of paper. This described me as being incapable of being graded in grades A, B, etc., because I suffered from sexual perversion. When the…"