Tom Holt

"'Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enoug…"

"Here and there a doorway or low arch concealed the occasional mugger, rapist or lawyer."

"'He didn't smile - he was from Yorkshire, after all - but in some inner chamber of his heart he was satisfied.'"

"Good guys is just a fancy way of saying Us. Bad guys is only ever Them.'"

"Thank you for calling the Powers of Darkness. Your call may be recorded for security and training purposes. For general moral and ethical enquiries, press 1 on your keypad. To make a reservation, pres…"

"At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance"

"the dragon got three cartsful of angry letters from the Pope"

"In the beginning was the Word. Nobody knows what it actually was, although it would be nice to think that it was 'Sorry."