Judith Sheindlin

"after someone in audience applauds, causing plaintiff to burst into tears: If there's any more noise from our gallery, you're gonna leave. Got it?"

"I don't care whether you had a 30-day notice, a 3-day notice, or a partridge in a pear tree!"

"You're irritating me. It's not a good thing to start off by irritating the person who's supposed to decide your case."

"You pulled out a gun, and you shot the gun over FLOWERS! Are you a MORON?!! ... You should be hiding under a rock, not acting as plaintiff in a lawsuit!"

"to a young woman suing a former friend for a broken toilet: The toilet broke while she was using it - that doesn't mean that she broke it, and it doesn't mean that she's responsible for it! Toilets br…"

"Your lawsuit is such a crock of baloney."

"I mean, did you think I was just a fake person here, that they picked out of, you know, that they picked out of a supermarket? Didn't you think that I had any legal experience at all, sir?"

"Let me tell you something: if you live to be a hundred, you'll never be as smart as I am in one finger."