Charles Barkley

"It's great to be hosting SNL again. I hosted sixteen years ago. Back then I was in great shape, I was coming off an MVP season with the Phoenix Suns - now, I play bad golf, drink, sometimes I get arre…"

"I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble."

"You can't start a diet in the middle of the week, that's just stupid."

"Anytime a fan touches you, you have the right to beat the hell out of him."

"Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last fifty years... and they are still poor."

"I'd have played against him for the next 14 years. I would have been in my prime and he would have been in his. I'll never forget what he looked like. He was a 'Wow!' player. When Maryland played and …"

"You know it's gone to hell, when the best rapper out there is a white guy and the best golfer is a black guy."

"I am not a role model. I’m not paid to be a role model. I’m paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise you…"