P. J. O'Rourke

"Advocating the expansion of the powers of the state is treason to mankind, goddamnit!"

"Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening."

"Marxism has tremendous appeal in the Third World for exactly the same reason it had tremendous appeal to me in college. It gives you something to believe in when what surrounds you seems unbelievable.…"

"Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett."

"The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several ot…"

"It takes a lot of weapons to do good works . And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out t…"

"The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important,…"

"The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborghini to the Grand Prix track to watch the charter buses race."