Robert Patrick (playwright)

"For people like us it is necessary to be a bit stronger, more self-critical, more observant than the usual run. Whether we happen to come already enhanced with these qualities, as some have claimed, o…"

"You're right, you're always right, yes, yes, of course. Love will survive. They couldn't kill it with purple hair-do's, they can't kill it with a plague. Boys will fall in love with each other's earlo…"

"Must one go through the five official stages? What are those five stages again: "anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance." Well, back up: here comes my acceptance speech. "I am now, and …"

"Don't bother answering back. Anything said to me at this point might as well be written on a decomposing squash. The brain goes first, you know -- except the portions dedicated to pain, which are appa…"

"It's my party and I'll die if I want to!"

"When I was just a little girl in East Bay, California, I noticed that East Bay was pig Latin for “beast.” But I knew I had found my niche when I realized that Alice Faye was pig Latin for "phallus."

"I tried to make up by offering to be a subject for any cute tricks that science might want to try. And said, "Mr. Wood, we cannot use you as an experimental animal," and I tod him, "Doc, I’m an effemi…"

"I want to give all away before some fool plays disco at my funeral, and then the record gets stuck, and nobody can tell, and the service goes on forever!"