Greg Giraldo

"When discussing a Florida woman denied a drivers license for refusing to remove her Burka and head covering- You know, I think they should give her the license, but then, it should only be good for fl…"

"What a night! A couple of trolls, a fairy, and a giant all going after a sunken-eyed little monster that's obsessed with jewelery. It's like The Lord of the Rings!"

"Hamilton, you're like a walking tumor. Not exactly; it's a big deal when you spot a tumor."

"Jeff, you bloated hack! Your jokes are so old, they know who George Hamilton is."

"Flav, you look like Idi Amin after a three year crack binge on the sun."

"Mario! You are one, tiny loudmouth fairy. You're the only guy I know who takes a stepladder into a gloryhole."

"Joan, you are one irritating Jew-broad! The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off."

"Hasslehoff, your liver is so shriveled, black, and dead. If you put your ear to your side you can hear it going "What you talking bout Willis."