"A poet’s Mistress is a hallowed thing."

"An interesting story about L. Frank Baum's coat"

"I never apologized for anything in my life. The only thing I’m sorry about is putting a curse on Roger Ebert’s colon. If a fat pig like Roger Ebert doesn’t like my movie, then I’m sorry for him."

"I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away."

"My boss treated me like a slave and I felt completely degraded. Then, just once, I did a terrible thing - I peed in his tea! Watching him drink it, my grudges completely dissolved - I never minded mak…"