"The minute I stopped trying to find the right girl, and started trying to become the right guy...the girl came."

"I love George Bush right now — and I always have! I'm the only guy in L.A. who voted for him."

"When a man has his heart in the right place and good taste, he can not only do well in politics but is even predetermined for it. If someone is modest and does not yearn for power, he is certainly not…"

"Among other things, we are supposed to spot the toes of clay splaying out from under the pearl-gray spats, or the cloven hoof encased in the jackboot, before anyone else. Cynicism also is the touchsto…"

"They might have occurred if either General Dreedle or General Peckem had once evinced an interest in taking part in orgies with him, but neither ever did, and the colonel was certainly not going to wa…"