"After tasting the meat pies, Samantha said she liked Mr Dewhurst’s beef in ale; although she preferred his tongue in cider."

“One musn’t be misled by the amiable, bumbling persona. He is a toughly intelligent man moving confidently in any kind of surroundings from Windsor Castle to Birdland.”

“Coincidence is a wonderful thing.”

“Now it's time to play a brand new game called Name That Barcode. Here's the first one: "Thick black, thin white, thick black, thick white, thick black, thin white." OK who's going to identify that?”

“An interviewer had researched Lyttelton's other interests and asked him about "orthinology" . Lyttelton said that he kept a straight face and answered the question but 24 hours later thought of what he should have replied: "Oh, you mean word-botching.”

“Well as the vanquished charwoman of time begins to Shake-n-Vac the shagpile of eternity, I've noticed that we've just run out of time...”